Gringo Poblano

Bruner Boys in Court!

2011-02-23T17:20:00.000-06:00

In the Spring of 1989 I was driving my nifty Renault LeCar (no kids, it was not a model of dinosaur, it was a French car - ok, well maybe that's the same thing...) in Provo, Utah when I turned in front of an oncoming car at a yellow light. My car was struck and it was pretty scary for awhile. Everyone was ok for the most part, but the car was totalled.

Because I did not yield to oncoming traffic, I was given a ticket by the officer who attended the accident. A few months later, I was given the opportunity to appear in court. My dad came down to Provo and went with me to court. I can remember sitting outside the courtroom waiting with Dad. I was pretty nervous so he said. "Hey no worries - it will probably be just like a guy behind a desk talking to us - no big deal." A few minutes later we walked into what seemed like a scene out of Perry Mason (THERE'S showing my age!). The judge came in with the "All rise" and I did my best to rise with my shaky knees. My dad looked at me sheepishly and shrugged.

When our turn came we approached the bench (see Micah I did pay attention in my Law class! Or maybe just to Perry Mason) and the judge asked me what happened. In a shaky voice I told him. He looked at this poor scared kid and asked me what I learned from it - I told him that I learned to be more careful - and he dismissed the charges. WHEW!!

OK, so maybe not that interesting of a story, but today I had a bit of a deja vu. You see back in December, Baxter had a little "issue" with the police which I won't get into here other than to say that it involved a call at 1:00am and some rather upset parents. But ANYWAY.... two tickets (a total of more than $500) and 9 points (12 gets your license suspended) later we were a little concerned and planned to go to the courthouse.

So today we went to court together. As we waited outside, I speculated that it might be just a guy behind a desk, but I told him I better not say that because of what happened with my dad. Sure enough, we went in and it was not quite Perry Mason - worthy, but it was close. After several delays, Baxter got his turn at the mic. He was respectful, humble, and handled himself better than most 16-year-olds would. About five minutes later we walked out with only one ticket, only $200 in fine, and only 4 points. We gave each other a high five after we left and felt very relieved. Baxter had already saved that much, so his debt to society was paid.

I guess I'm hoping that Baxter won't have to have the same experience with his son some years from now. But if he does, I hope he remembers the lessons he learned and things go as well for him and his son also! Who knows, maybe by then they'll have made a Perry Mason action movie and he'll know what in the world I am talking about!

Fallen Soldier - O'Hare

2010-05-11T08:59:00.000-05:00

Last Friday night, Baxter and I were sitting in O'Hare International Airport in Chicago. He was leaving for his prom date in Virginia (see Emma's blog - http://familiabruner.blogspot.com/) and I was accompanying him to the gate. Baxter returned from the bathroom to tell me that there were several fire engines with their lights flashing visible from another part of the airport. Since his plane was delayed, we went over to check it out. I was worried that it might be some kind of problem or concern with an aircraft.

We stood and watched with some others for a few minutes and finally someone closeby explained that there was a fallen soldier returning to the US on a plane. We saw the Honor Guard below on the ground, and also saw a large group of firefighters. We figured the soldier must have been a firefighter as a civilian, and they were coming to honor their fallen brother.

After waiting for awhile, finally the plane arrived. The fire engines gave the plane a great welcome.

As we watched, a crowd gathered around us and many people asked the same questions - what was going on? As it was explained, a respectful hush fell over the crowd.

We watched as they unloaded a large wooden box

Then they opened the box and carefully placed a flag over the coffin.

The honor guard then came and placed the coffin on a specialized luggage cart, which then took the hero on his final journey towards home.

As you know, I spend a lot of time in airports, especially in O'Hare. There is always hustle and bustle and people are generally focused on getting from one gate to another, or getting where they need to go. To see so many people stop, quietly watch, and then quietly disperse, was a touching experience. I don't know who the young soldier was, but I'm grateful for his service and that Baxter and I could appreciate his ultimate sacrifice.

Tamales

2010-05-04T17:21:00.000-05:00

Some time ago Emma purchased some tamales from a friend who was selling them as a fund raiser. Last night as we were contemplating what to do for dinner, she got a call letting us know that the tamales would be delivered tonight - woo hoo! So Emma said, "I know what we're going to have for dinner - tamales!"

Cassie looked at her strangely and said, "We're going to Molly's for dinner?"

It took me a few minutes, but when I got it, I laughed hard. Of course Ben added to it by asking if they would taste anything like Hot Tamales (the candy). He was disappointed to learn that no, that was not the case.

Ah kids....

Chariots of Fire

2010-05-03T10:18:00.001-05:00

Yesterday we were having a meeting at Church and I looked out the window and saw one of our Primary kids throwing around a football. I couldn't believe that I had the opportunity to use one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies.

"Do you know what day it is?"

"Sunday"

"The Sabbath's not a day for playing football is it?"

CLASSIC!!

It reminded me of a time we were at some sort of outdoor event at a park and someone fell ill. My dad was asked to find a doctor. He stood up and said,

"Is there a doctor in the house?"

Actually, that would have been REALLY cool if he would have said that - I mean how many times to you get to stay stuff like that? But instead my dad says,

"Are there any medical personnel on the premises?"

Really Dad? Come on! Chances like these don't come around every day - you gotta grab 'em while you can!

I have failed as a parent...

2010-04-29T10:45:00.010-05:00

So the other day we were looking at a preview online to the Star Wars in Concert coming to Milwaukee in July. I had gathered my kids around to watch the nifty little video. However, I knew that I needed to re-evaluate my parenting experience when, upon seeing Han Solo on the screen, one of my daughters said, "Who is that?"

Ouch.

As my boys would say, Epic Fail.

So I decided to remedy the problem by having them watch the original movies. Just to be clear, they have seen Episodes 1-2 (3 was a little rough for them at their age when it first came out), and are big fans of the Clone Wars series (which, by the way, is great fun if you don't try to compare it too much to the movies) so I'm not a total failure. But still.

The classic moment came when Star Wars A New Hope (the one that started it all) started, the awesome beginning scene with the massive Star Destroyer taking over Princess Leia's ship. Then as the door burns down and we see all of the stormtroopers appear through the door, I overheard Cassie say,

"Wait - I thought they were the GOOD guys!"

As the Emperor would say, "your failure is complete...."

You might be a Band Geek...

2009-11-19T15:22:00.003-06:00

OK so Ben had his Fall Concert Tuesday night (no bishopric meetings for me!) and tonight is Baxter's concert. I realized how much of a band geek I was when I realized that I actually look forward to going to these concerts! OK, I'm sure you're saying it's just because they are my kids and there is no doubt that has something to do with it. But the truth is I enjoy band music, and even if they are young musicians and not that great, it's fun (for me) to listen to. So yes, I am a Band Geek.

I googled "You might be a band geek if.." and found some lists, but I thought y'all could help me make our own. Like my first one is:

If you can figure out what instrument people play based on their personalities... you might be a Band Geek!

So what else do you have??? And keep it clean people - my kids read this!

The Balance of the Universe is shifting!

2009-09-01T09:48:00.002-05:00

You may have felt the balance of the universe shift this morning. Because for the first time, Emma now has to get up earlier than I do! As many of you know, Emma is teaching Early Morning Seminary this year and today was the first day of school and seminary. Although Emma getting up earlier than I has happened before, this will be the longest string of this occurence in recorded history.

All joking aside, Emma is really excited about this calling and working with the awesome youth in our ward (at least the part she gets to teach - we have more in another class across town). And I have to say I'm really proud of her - she will do a great job I'm sure.

This was a great article in the Deseret News recently about Early Morning Seminary students - check it out!

http://mormontimes.com/mormon_voices/elia_gourgouris/?id=10389

I'm starting to lose my confidence in my driving...

2009-08-21T10:08:00.003-05:00

Last week we had a wonderful time in the Wisconsin Dells with my family for our biannual (does that mean twice a year or every two years? can never remember - should be every two years) family reunion. We called it BE09 - Bruner Extravaganza 2009. It was a wonderful time and we had a blast seeing everyone - 30 people in one house was a little crazy but I think we all survived! I say I think because with 30 of us - who can really be sure?!?

On the way home, Emma and I were driving in separate cars because 1)I came directly to the Dells with Ben from Scout Camp, and 2) we had so much flippin' stuff (flippin' - that was for you fellow Mormons out there!) we had to take two cars! Anyway, Emma, strangely enough (he he he), got ahead of me on the freeway and I got caught in some traffic and got a little behind. So, once I got clear, I stepped on the gas and tried to catch up. Of course wouldn't you know it but around the next corner was a member of the Wisconsin Highway Patrol Organization.

Now, let me stop and explain something. The last time I was pulled over for speeding it was 1992, I was in a Geo Metro on the freeway between Heber and Park City, UT at night. We're talking 17 years ago. In fact, I've never been pulled over for speeding since I was married! What is my secret? Well I do all the things like stay in the middle of the group, don't go faster than all the people around me, and, I try to moderate my speed! (good plan, eh?)

But here I was, with my 15-yr-old-almost-going-to-get-his-temps-son in the car, waiting for the officer to come talk to me. The officer asked me why I was speeding, I told him my crazy wife got ahead of me and she had stolen my kids, and I had to catch her, and... ok that's not exactly what I said. But I did say I was trying to catch up to my wife who was ahead of me somewhere. "DO YOU HAVE A CELL PHONE?" he asked. (I wrote that in CAPITAL LETTERS not because he yelled it, but because, hey, he's a cop - everything seems like it's in CAPITAL LETTERS when he pulls you over). I said that I did, and he said I should have used that to tell my wife to wait up. Hmmm, a police officer encouraging me to use a cell phone while driving! But I digress...

He asked me if I had any history with their "Organization", which I thought was an amusing way to ask if I had a record! But rather than make any smart aleck comments, I just said, no. Which was true. Did I mention my last ticket was 1992?

Somehow, he took pity on me and let me off with a warning only. WHEW! I was thrilled, but also a little shaken. Have I lost my touch? Are my driving skills already deteriorating? OK, Mom, I know what you're thinking - keep it to yourself!

Fast forward to last night. We left the Chicago temple, where we had been serving with several members of our ward. Emma and I decided to stop at a local restaurant for dinner. I spotted a parking spot but the person next to the sport was way over the line, so I skipped it. I saw another spot next to an ambulance, which was also over the line but not as much. I started to pull in and, sure enough, SCRAPE! I hit the flippin' ambulance (that's two flippin's if you're counting!)! I jumped out and the two drivers (one of which was smoking a cigarrette - never understood that one) looked at me like I was crazy. Well, as crazy as you can look in a suit and tie driving a minivan. Anyway the ambulance was fine, our van has some scrapes - grrr. I decided to park somewhere else, far away from parked ambulances and all civilization. We took a small commuter flight, two busses, and a 1/2 mile hike back to the restaurant (ok it wasn't that far, but still).

We sat down to eat, and soon some friends joined us from the temple. And then another "friend". This "friend" was a member of the Illinois Highway Patrol Organization. She needed to fill out a report regarding my accident, since I hit a municipal vehicle. Nothing like sitting in a restaurant and having a police officer come up to you and ask you a bunch of questions! We got the report filled out and finished dinner and had a great time visiting with our friends.

So now I'm wondering - should I just surrender my license? Have I gotten too old before even getting to 40? Or maybe not old enough?

I guess for now I better slow down, be more careful, and avoid parked ambulances!!

Customs for Customs

2009-04-07T11:49:00.006-05:00

Anyone who has travelled to another country knows that before you land in a country, you are asked to fill out an immigration and/or customs form. These forms are almost never fun to fill out, but I find them fascinating.

First of all, all countries seem to require different sizes, shapes, and formats. Never mind that we all somehow came to an agreement on passport size and formats (different colors for different countries). When it comes to customs forms, there are some really long, others square, some with two sections, some with carbon copies. I personally like the ones, like Mexico's, where you have to fill out the same information twice, sort of like when you enter a new password for a system.

Enter your name. Now enter it again. Whoa! It's not the same - are you sure you don't have your personal CAPS Lock on?

And some countries seem to try to find the hardest shape to fit anywhere. I can imagine them sitting around - ooh ooh let's try to make it hard to fit in a pocket! Or a passport! Or a large duffel bag! Yeah, that'll be great!

But most of these forms seem to ask for the same information, although I admit I can't understand the reasoning behind it. Your name, passport number, where you've been, what you're bringing in or taking out - all reasonable. But marital status? Profession? What is that for? Or how about asking your date of birth and then asking your age? What is this? A math test?

I suppose this is in case you are a criminal. But what good does marital status do? Help you find suspects?

"We have the suspect in our sights now sir! No wait, did you say he's married? Oh, cancel that - this guy is clearly single. He doesn't even have a wedding ring! And he's definitely not an accountant - way too athletic for that! (sorry to all my accountant friends) Let this guy go - he can't be the guy we're looking for."

Of course I can rant all I want, but when it's time to go before the Immigration or Customs Officer, I'm all business. I've tried smiling at them, but apparently that's not permitted. I had one guy actually carry on a conversation with me beyond "How long will you be in the country? What will you be doing?", which I thought was great. But then he smiled at me. Big mistake. The Immigration Enforcers swooped in from somewhere and carted him off, shouting, "We told you Bob, no smiling!" It wasn't pretty.

The scariest time was when I travelled to the Philippines and I was reading over the customs form and saw in large letters: "Death to Drug Traffickers under Phillipine Law 1234". Death? Wow. I hope Tylenol doesn't count? What about Ibuprofen?

I suddenly felt the need to change my form. Name: Brian Bruner, Martial Status: Married, Profession: NOT Drug Trafficking

Apparently it worked since they let me in...

Energy Savings and the "Big" Family

2009-04-02T13:26:00.004-05:00

OK, you probably already know that we have a "big" family - at least by today's standards. We have 4 kids, which I guess is a lot today. Having grown up the oldest of 6 kids, it doesn't seem that big to me, but based on the reaction I usually get when I tell people how many kids I have (insert your Mormon / Wisconsin / don't you know how to prevent that / I guess you have a lot of time on your hands joke here), it's a lot!

As the father of a "big" family, I am always looking out for ways to save money and to cut costs. Those of you who know how we afford our trips to Disney know that I am somewhat of a cheapskate on some things (PB&J's on Main Street USA, yum!). And I'm always trying to find ways to be, well, cheaper.

So whenever I see an article on the Internet about reducing your energy costs, I perk up. And now that most of us are becoming more convinced that reducing our energy consumption is probably a good thing for the environment (please no Al Gore vs. Rush Limbaugh arguments here), that adds to the interest.

But unfortunately, there usually isn't much useful for a big family. A few of my favorites:

1) Only run the washing machine when it is full.

Seriously? You mean you can actually run those things when they are not full? I've never even tried that! Maybe I'm missing something as I'm wading through the piles of laundry in our basement to get to the washing machine. Fun fact: When it gets too cold here in Wisconsin, our kids don't play outside during the winter - we send them downstairs to build forts with the dirty laundry!

(ooh, Emma is so going to kill me for this post!)

But seriously, anyone who has a "big" family knows that, no matter how hard you work, THE LAUNDRY NEVER ENDS. A few years ago a friend of ours told me that she had "finished her laundry" on Saturday. Finished her laundry? I don't even know what that phrase means! Are we speaking another language here?

2 - Only run the dishwasher when it is full.

Sounds a lot like #1 - I just can't imagine a situation when I would say to my kids - "You know what? Forget about Mt Everest of plates there in the sink - let's just run it with some cups and maybe one or two spoons! That'll be fun!"

3 - Turn off lights in rooms you aren't using.

I guess we need to define the term "using". If by "using" we mean at least running through screaming / chasing / skipping / singing during any specific 30-60 minute period, I guess I'd have to say, We Ain't Got None of Those There Rooms!

Our youngest daughter Cassie has decided to "use" the Front Room as her personal play room. You know that room that's supposed to be kept nice so when the Home Teachers visit you don't have to use the rake to make a path to the couch? (I am so sleeping on the couch, I tell you) So I made a deal with Cassie - clean up when you are "done playing". I even let her use our nice chest to store all of her "treasures" (those who think that only boys keep "treasures" are sadly mistaken - their's just smell worse than the girls'). But I continually find her things strewn about the room. When I ask why she didn't clean them up, she insists she's still playing with them. Never mind that she's been outside the house for the last two hours. In her mind, the room is still being "used". You see? You can't win!

So I've given up on saving energy for my home and decided to focus on saving parental energy. Parental energy? Are we speaking the same language here?

Girls, Girls, Girls

2009-02-24T11:32:00.002-06:00

This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend a Daddy-Daughter Dance with my two beautiful girls. We had gone last year and had a blast, so we were eagerly anticipating this event. Unfortunately my girls were not feeling 100% but they were not going to let this night go by.

They got all dressed up in their pretty dresses and we drove out to a country club close by. We had dinner and our pictures taken and we danced all night. I'm always amazed that our wives can try to get us to do things and we resist, but when our daughters ask us, we melt immediately. So there we were - all kinds of dads in our suits, military uniforms, even a few tuxes - dancing and enjoying being with our little girls. I'm sure most of the dads hadn't been dancing with their wives for years (if ever!).

There were multiple contests (we won for the YMCA dance - woo hoo!) and they even raffled off an American Girl doll (my ears are still ringing from the screaming). We didn't win anything at the raffle, although I was really hoping for the skybox seats at the Milwaukee Bucks game. For the girls, of course.

At one point I overheard a little girl say to her friends, "At least your dad will dance with you! Mine won't even dance!" It broke my heart. Then, probably to save face, she added, "That's ok, I didn't really want to dance either."

So imagine to my surprise when, not long after, this same little girl and her dad won the best 70's dance or something like that. I guess she was able to convince her dad after all - way to go girl! Way to go Dad!

On Sunday I attended our ward's Young Women New Beginnings evening. My girls are not yet old enough, but I'm over the YW in our ward, so Emma and I went. I know you sisters may not agree after hearing it so often, but I still get a thrill to hear righteous young women repeat the Young Women's Promise:

We are daughters of our Heavenly Father,
who loves us, and we love Him.
We will “stand as witnesses of God
at all times and in all things, and in all places” (Mosiah 18:9)
as we strive to live the Young Women values, which are:
Faith
Divine Nature
Individual Worth
Knowledge
Choice and Accountability
Good Works
Integrity and
Virtue.
We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values,
we will be prepared to strengthen home and family,
make and keep sacred covenants,
receive the ordinances of the temple,
and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.

What an amazing promise from these beautiful young women. I sat and thought about how different this world would be if all young women followed this inspired program. What an inspiration they would be to the young men of the world, and how much influence could they have?

As I thought about the beauty of a young girl getting her dad to dance, and of these young women getting the world to change, I was encouraged and uplifted - we can become a better people, even if it's just within our own family, our own neighborhood, our own ward, our own country.

In Proverbs 31:10 it says, "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies."

Rubies indeed...

Check out this site please!

2009-02-13T12:56:00.001-06:00

More travel fun!

2009-01-29T19:21:00.012-06:00

My Dad said he wanted more travel stories, so sorry to all of you who may be bored by this "exciting" adventure.

Yesterday I flew from Sao Paulo, Brazil to Buenos Aires, Argentina - about a 3-hour flight. I flew TAM Airlines, which is a Brazilian airline that I've flown before - pretty nice (much better than the airlines from you-know-where - see my first post).

The flight was uneventful, although the poor flight attendant didn't speak much English, and my Portuguese is much worse than my Spanish, so we had a few problems, but I understood enough to get some dinner (yes! outside the US airlines still give you real food!) and to get off the plane safely at around 11pm.

One of my least favorite things about flying internationally is when you have to get off the plane directly onto a bus, and then to the terminal. I say international, although Washington Dulles is terrible for this also (sorry Alan and Chris!) - and that's where I'll be tomorrow night, er, actually Saturday morning.

Anyway, I take a bus ride to the terminal, breeze through immigration, congratulate myself again for not checking baggage on a weeklong trip (yes! a new record for me!) as I breeze through customs, and find my taxi driver was waiting for me with my name - even spelled correctly!

When I travel to other countries, especially in Latin America, it is usually safer to arrange for a ride before you arrive, and the driver is usually waiting for you at the exit with a sign with your name on it. Or some version of your name. I've had the usual Brian Brunner (one N people, one N!!), Brain Bruner (I suppose I should be flattered), and my favorite, Brian Brunen.

But I digress. My non-spelling-challenged driver picks me up and we take off towards downtown Buenos Aires. Because I'm a little paranoid, I casually mention to the driver that, as I had arranged before, I would be paying with a credit card. Uh oh. Yes, I know what you are thinking - paying a cab with a credit card? Are you an idiot? OK, yes I am sometimes, but it's pretty common to pay with a credit card in some countries. Just not in Argentina. And I had no cash, US or otherwise. Actually that's not true - I think I have some Dominican pesos in my wallet for some crazy reason. But the driver assures me we can "work it out" and we speed away.

-- We interrupt this blog for a special public service announcement! Did you know that the Buenos Aires LDS temple is between the airport and downtown? It's so cool to see it when you arrive and also when you leave! I often want to say "Hey! That's my temple! OK, not mine, but you understand. Now back to your regularly scheduled blog --

We arrive at the hotel and the driver makes a phone call to his home base or home planet or something. I am confident we can "work it out". "Work it out" to me means - yes we will accept your card! "Work it out" to him means, sorry, you need to pay me in cash. No problem! - I'll go to an ATM in the hotel. Problem! - there is no ATM in the hotel. You must go in front of hotel across very busy street. OK, not so busy at 12:00am, but still. The driver takes me across (relatively) busy street to get cash, but has no change. No problem, the hotel has change. So finally I get the driver paid, check in, and head to my room.

In the process of checking in, the hotel employee hands me a piece of paper and tells me that there will be a short electrical outage between 1am and 2am, which would affect the air conditioners. By the way, it's summer here in Buenos Aires and pretty darn warm. No problem, I thought. Even though it's after 12am, I should be asleep and not even know.

But then I check the paper again and notice it also says that there will be no water from 11pm until 7am. Hmmm, that could be a problem, but I figure, I'll be fine. In my room there is just enough water in the pipes to brush my teeth. But then I notice there is no iron, so I call and request one. Then call again. Then call again. Finally, 45 minutes later I get the iron, and I climb into bed.

Sometime around 1:30am I hear the AC turn off but I'm already almost asleep. At 7:30am my alarm goes off and I reach to turn on the lamp by my bed. Nothing happens. Great- no electricity. I send off a quick text message to a friend here letting him know that I'll probably be a little late coming into the office. Then I head to the bathroom in the dark (cell phones make great flashlights!) and, out of habit, turn on the light. It turns on. At this point I realize the AC is on so Yes! I am an idiot! Something wrong with the lamp by my bed.

But then I flush the toilet and the water comes out brown. Water from the faucet? Also brown. I go back to bed (Emma would be proud!). A half an hour later I get up again and try again. Water is clearing up, but there is no cold water - only hot.

Now I had several ocassions on my mission to experience bathing in pure cold water - not a pleasant experience, but survivable. But pure hot? Painful. I decide to use my hard-fought-for iron and wait for the water to come back. Once done, I find a little trickle of cold water. Tired of waiting, I take a short and very interesting shower, get dressed, and leave for the office.

You would think I stayed in a local cheap hotel, right? Nope, all this from a hotel called Sheraton....

Update from Emma

2009-01-22T17:41:00.004-06:00

Just a comment on the last post Brian posted. I was told to inform everyone that Baxter doesn't wear Axe he wears Maxium by Aeropostale. It also was irresistible Chocolate Axe. That does make a difference. Just you wait till the girls come along!!!!!

Plus! Ultra! Mega! Super!

2009-01-22T13:44:00.003-06:00

As many of you know, in April I will become the proud parent of 2 (that's 2, as in one per parent!) teenage boys. The truth is age 12 should really be a "teen" because all the "fun" stuff of teenagers starts at 12 anyway (yes, that means you son!).

One thing I've noticed is that these teenage boys are pretty obsessed with their hair.

OK, to be honest, they're probably better than I was at their age. Of course that's because they are better looking than I was at their age. And of course that was back when I actually HAD hair (insert bald joke here) In fact, their better looking than I am now! OK, now I'm depressed. ANYWAY...

Part of Teenage Boyhood is the purchase of special toiletries. (I haven't learned about Teenage Girlhood yet, so don't get me started...) In my day, that meant deodorant and gel or mousse, because hairspray was for girls. Yes, I did just admit to using mousse. (Insert goofy 80's hairstyle on a nerdy kid joke here) Today, however, not only do you have deodorant and hair products to worry about, you also have to worry about body spray. Oh you mean cologne? No Dad, it's body spray. And in case you don't know how to spell that, it's spelled A-X-E. Yes, my boys are Axe users (I don' t know if that's embarrassing or not but just in case - Sorry boys!). This product has taken the world by storm, and they have so many fragances (or odors, depending on which one!) it's mindboggling. My boys were fighting over one called Chocolate. Seriously? Does it really smell like that? If it does, that may be the smartest thing cologne (er, I mean body spray) people have done - when your wife says she is feels like chocolate, get out the spray! OK, that probably won't work, but still!

But let's get back to the hair products. I bring this up because it's caused some confusion in my life ever since I was entering Teenage Boyhood. It applies to mousse (is that even still around?), shampoo, gel, hairspray, and even some other items. It's the use of descriptive words like SUPER! PLUS! ULTRA! MEGA! to describe the "hold" of the product.

This was important because if you wanted your hair to stay in place during a minor tornado (yes, many minor tornados growing up in Salt Lake City), you wanted to buy the hair product with the most hold. Therein lies my dilemma. What holds better - MEGA or ULTRA? Is SUPER better than PLUS? And where does EXTRA! fit in?

Seriously, they should publish a guide of hair product hold-ness (yes I know it's not really a word). Something like this:

SUPER! - withstands winds up to 10 mph
PLUS! - stays in place even when your Mom toussles your hair - embarrassing!
MEGA! - will not move even when that cute girl runs her hands through your hair (OK, more likely for me was will not move even in that cool Physics class wind tunnel you were working on)
ULTRA! - see minor tornadoes, will not move...

I'm sure this would make things much easier to understand when you go shopping. If only they would listen.

Well, I'm off to try to figure out which AXE to put on tomorrow...

Wisconsin has a different definition for cold!

2009-01-15T20:05:00.000-06:00

My good friend Timm just sent me this - I thought it was appropriate!

COLD IS A RELATIVE THING. . . . . . .
65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Wisconsin plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Wisconsin sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Wisconsin drive with the windows
down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves,
wool hats.
People in Wisconsin throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Wisconsin have the last cookout
before it gets cold.

20 above Zero
People in Miami all die.
Wisconsinites close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Wisconsin get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Wisconsin are selling
cookies door to door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Wisconsin let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Wisconsinites get upset because they can't
start the Snow-mobile.

40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Wisconsin start saying...'Cold
enough fer ya?'

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Wisconsin public schools will open 2 hours late

There's cold, and then there's...

2009-01-14T18:40:00.003-06:00

So I know I just recently posted about the weather and my whining about the cold here in Wisconsin. But tonight is one of the special nights that people in Wisconsin "love". We are expected to be at about -25 with the wind chill (or the windshield, as Cassie calls it). Although I've been here when it's been -40 (with the windshield) but the truth is, between -25 and -40, there isn't a huge amount of difference (although if you ask my former Alaskan brother Micah there IS a difference). (that's former Alaskan, not former brother). (just wanted to clarify).

In fact, in all probability school will be cancelled tomorrow due to cold. In all my years growing up in Utah, I can't say I ever remember school being cancelled due to cold. Of course in my years growing up, the SLC School District seemed to have the policy that "unless children are nigh unto death, don't EVER cancel school". Blizzards? No problem. Slippery Roads? We're fine. Here in Kenosha, it's much more reasonable. Ahem. Yeah.

I looked it up - and here it is:

General Guidelines Regarding Closing of Schools Due to Extremely Cold Weather Conditions:

Either -20 degrees Fahrenheit sustained temperature or -34 degrees below zero or lower Fahrenheit sustained windchill.

SERIOUSLY? -20 degrees? If it's -15 - no problem kids - it's a walk in the park! But -20 yeah we better close down. And -34 degrees with the windshield? Why not -35 or -30? Crazy.

NEWSFLASH! As I just went to look up the policy, it turns out that SCHOOL IS CANCELLED TOMORROW! Insert cheering from our kids. I guess the -25 met the guidelines, good thing it wasn't only -19.

What kind of crazy place is this? And what kind of crazy people live here? (like us...)

Some things stay the same...

2009-01-12T17:02:00.004-06:00

So my wife Emma gets mad at me because she says blogs with no pictures are boring. She also gets mad at me because I take too many pictures of things without people in the pictures - especially of Cinderella's Castle ("Cool - a new color!!"). She of course gets this from her mother, who gets mad at her husband for doing the same thing.

Every time the Bennetts (Emma's family) get together with everyone, we get out the old trusty slide projector (yes kids, these were made BEFORE iPhoto and iMovie). We pour in some gasoline, check the oil pressure, start the crank, and - OK, it's not THAT old.

But we then start going through pictures from all time and all eternity. Not that I'm complaining. I actually enjoy it as much as the rest of the family. But what's the most hilarious is that my father-in-law gets yelled EVERY TIME for the SAME TWO THINGS:

1 - Pictures with no people in them ("Why'd you take this stupid picture? There's no one in it!")

2 - Pictures that are out of order (these slides have been out of order for at least the last 15+ years I've been married to Emma, and maybe more, but we continue to complain about it EVERY TIME)

Recently, my son Baxter has developed a great talent for creating slide shows on our Mac. He of course adds music and effects and titles, and does a great job. He shows his creative side and loves to sit and tinker with it for hours.

So this weekend Baxter was working on our Disney vacation slide show (yes Autumn, it's coming soon!). Emma came over to give some Motherly Constructive Criticism, and I was amused to notice the fact that his mom was yelling at him for:

1 - Pictures with no people in them ("Another Castle picture?")

2 - Pictures that are out of order ("This wasn't Magic Kingdom - this was Epcot!")

It's good to know some things never change...

Winter - my FAVORITE season! (?)

2008-12-29T12:19:00.003-06:00

I LOVE Winter! It's so great how you have the snow and the cold and the fun! I love getting all bundled up and putting on a silly-looking stocking cap to protect my bald head every time I go out. I love shovelling and snowblowing and...

OK, I just couldn't do it. The truth is I dread winter. I hate winter. I don't like winter. But here's the thing - I've realized that, living in Wisconsin, I probably don't have a choice. OK, I definitely don't have a choice. I'm going to live through winter every year, like it or not. So I need to try to like it. Or at least tolerate it. Or at least not detest it. OK, we'll work in baby steps.

The thing is, I've never really liked winter. Even growing up in Utah, where it doesn't get quite as cold as here in Wisconsin, I never liked winter. Of course Salt Lake City has the wonderful world of Inversions - the nasty time when the cold air gets trapped in the valley and the world turns grey for weeks at a time. In Wisconsin we have no mountains (shh.. don't tell the ski resorts around here!) so we have no inversions! Yeah! No grey air! So we see the sun more! Even when it is 30 degrees below zero! That's good, right?

See?!? I can be positive about winter! We have sun! Yeah!

But here's my biggest problem. We lived in Mexico City for three years. Yes, Mexico City, Mexico. Biggest city (population-wise) in the world. Crime problems, pollution problems, yes. But climate? Absolutely beautiful year-round. Rarely gets above 80s, almost never gets below 40s. Rainy season is nice, rest of the year is even nicer.

People always told me - if I lived there, I'd really miss the different seasons, the changes. And yet, I NEVER MISSED IT! OK, maybe Christmas morning I kinda wished we had some snow, but I LOVED going swimming on Christmas Day, never having to wear hats and gloves and heavy coats, always being able to go outside. Of course that's not for everyone, but for me and my family, it was awesome. My dad was born in California and, although he didn't really ever live there, some of that Californiality (is that a word?) must have come through in my genes.

So back to my current problem. Although we'd love to move to a warmer climate, that doesn't appear to be in the cards for right now, so perhaps I better learn to live with it. They say you don't get used to winters in Wisconsin, you just learn to live with them. But the Mexicans say you can get used to anything except not eating. Of course that may be because they've never had to live through a Wisconsin winter.

Only 4 more months to go....

Christmas Music part 2

2008-12-22T20:26:00.001-06:00

I don't really have a top 10 songs that I like. So I will list my top 5 singers. In no particular order.

1. Carpenters
2. Johnny Mathis
3. Celine Dion
4. Harry Connick Jr
5. Amy Grant

Now for my dislikes

1. Trans-Siberian Orchestra
2. Most Pop singers (They just need to stick to what they know and that is not Christmas)
3. Same goes for country singers
4. Korean Boys Choir (especially singing Deck the Halls)
5. Most of the people who try to come up with new songs. I love the oldies!!!!

So here is my list. I do have to say that I would start listening to Christmas music well not actually stop if my family did not protest. Most of the season when ever Baxter has gotten in the car he would plug in his Ipod and there went my Christmas music. Today I put my foot down and said, "I don't care what you think only Christmas music will be allowed this week!!!)
SO THERE!!!!!!!

Christmas Music - what do you love / not love?

2008-12-22T14:50:00.003-06:00

This is a wonderful time of year. In fact, some might say it's the most wonderful time of the year! Or sing it, anyway. Christmas music is a wonderful part of the season, at least for me. I have met a few Scrooges - er, people - who don't like Christmas music, but it seems that most of us enjoy it. There are so many varieties of Christmas music now that it's hard not to find some songs that appeal to some people.

In our house, it is a battle every year. Although I love Christmas music, I do tend to get tired of it if I listen to it for too long. Emma, on the other hand, would like to start listening to Christmas music once the first leaf falls off the trees. So we've compromised and said that it's allowed after Halloween. Of course Emma seems to find excuses to listen to it before that date every year, but so far, that's our "standard".

I do have to say, however, that I don't enjoy ALL Christmas music. So I thought it might be interesting to make a list of my top 10 and bottom 5 Christmas songs. Anyone who would like to can do the same, either as a comment here or as a post on your own blog. Should be interesting.

Top Ten (in no particular order):

1. White Christmas (especially by Bing Crosby!)
2. Chestnuts Roasting (I don't think this is the official title but you know what I mean!)
3. Carol of the Bells (not particulary fond of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra version, but my kids love it!)
4. O Holy Night (especially the Celine Deion version, which I think is WAY better than Josh Groberg's version - sorry ladies)
5. Silent Night (especially Manheim Steamroller's version)
6. Joy to the World
7. Angels we have Heard on High
8. Grown up Christmas List (especially Amy Grant's version)
9. Merry Christmas Darling (go Karen Carpenter!)
10. It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Bottom Five

1. Grandma got run over by a reindeer (I know many people will disagree with me on this one, but to me this song is not only disrespectful to what I love about Christmas, I find it just plain annoying)
2. Last Christmas I Gave you My Heart (don't know what the real title is, but this is just a depressing song all around)
3. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree (depends on the version but not one of my favorites)
4. I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus (especially the Jackson Five version - some others aren't so bad).
5. Do They Know It's Christmas Time at All? (no, since this was sung about a MUSLIM country, they probably don't!)
6. Ring Out Wild Bells (OK, not technically a Christmas song, but could we find a more depressing hymn to sing on the sacrament meeting close to New Years Day?)

So what do you think?

Flying Mexican Airlines

2008-12-16T22:17:00.001-06:00

OK, first of all, let me make something clear. Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE Mexico - I served my mission there, I went back and worked there, my daughter was born while we lived there. I love the Mexican people, I love Mexican food (I even like Tex-Mex food!), I speak Spanish with a Mexican accent, my job allows me to travel to Mexico many times. I have also grown to love many other countries, especially in Latin America, but Mexico will always have a special place in my heart.

But one thing that drives me crazy is flying Mexican airlines. I used to hate it when I lived in Mexico, but I keep forgetting why. So this post is to remind me why. Hopefully when I think, "Oh, the US airlines are not available - maybe I should fly Aeromexico or Mexicana" I will find this post and correct myself quickly.

Before I continue, let me say that I am no big fan of US airlines either. And don't try to tell me that one is better or worse than the other - I can't even tell the difference anymore (except that I have status on United - yeah for Economy Plus!). But this isn't about them.

So this morning I did what I don't usually do and left my house in plenty of time to get to the airport for my 8:30am flight. I arrived at the airport before 6am, which is so unlike me but I was feeling crazy I guess. I immediately spotted the Aeromexico line by the fact that it had one of only two huge lines before 6am in the International Terminal of O'Hare, and by the fact that Mexicana (the other huge line) was down the hallway. I decided to be patient this morning (yeah me!), jumped into line, and waited. Soon an airline employee came and, very friendily (is that a word?), handed me my immigration and customs forms (one day I will post about these beauties!) and told me I was in the wrong line - this was the Guadalajara line - I needed to be in the Mexico City line. I cheered inwardly (at 5am not much cheering happens outwardly) and went to the (much) shorter Mexico City line.

After I make some advances towards the front of the line, I notice that there are two agents taking care of the Guadalajara line and three for the Mexico City line - score! However, two of the three agents are busy dealing with a large group of people who appeared to be taking the first flight of their lives - they were, well, I have no idea what they were doing. So we had only one agent watching over us. It was at this point that I decided (again) to be patient, and was grateful that I had arrived early.

Of course at this point, as it so often seems to happen on these airlines, especially during the holiday season, that there are three or four families that arrive at the front of the line and find out that 7 of the 22 suitcases they are trying to check are overweight. This starts the wonderful spectacle of Suitcase Leveling. This game involves opening the 7 Overweight suitcases and several Underweight suitcases, and start to move heavy objects between the Overweight suitcases to the Underweight suitcases, trying to balance all of the suitcases evenly. Periodically, you must pull a Price is Right moment and run the suitcase over to the scale! Yes! Overweight becomes Underweight! The crowd cheers! Bob Barker asks you to control the pet population!

The downside to this fun and exciting game is 1) the people in line behind the contestants are made to wait because the agents are enjoying the show and apparently unable to take care of any other customers during the show, and 2) invariably the other passengers in line are exposed to seeing articles of clothing that would be better kept, er, private.

Finally I am only two people away from the front of the line and feeling pretty good about my patience level at this point. But apparently the ONE agent taking care of our line has decided that either her shift is over or it's break time so she walks away. I always wonder what that feels like - I wonder if they feel like turning around and sticking out their tongue at us.

I stand in awe thinking - now what? People behind me start to grumble but I am still patient! Then I notice that several other agents have now started opening additional computers - hooray! Except now I notice they are only taking care of the Guadalajara line! That's it, next time, I'm taking a flight with a layover in Guadalajara - those people clearly knew something I didn't.

Finally someone takes mercy on the Mexico City line (which, I notice, has now reached Schaumburg) and I am to the front - yeah! "Any bags to check sir?" No ma'am. "Please let me weigh your carry on". What? OK, whatever. "Let me stick an ugly orange tag on your carry on". Bring it on!

And I'm off. Now I know you are tired of reading this post, but trust me - IT GETS BETTER! I get to the security gate, only to be acosted by yet another Aeromexico employee who wants to put my 5am patience to the test. "Sorry sir - only one carryon - you have two. You'll have to go back and check it in". I am stunned. After arguing for a minute, I fail the patience test, make some rude comment about Mexican airlines, and storm back to the counter. Luckily an agent sees me and I explain my problem. He decides the solution is to put an ugly orange sticker on my backpack (the offending second piece) and ANOTHER ugly orange sticker on my carryon - yes! Two ugly orange stickers on one suitcase! I briefly wonder if I need to re-weigh it but hope that the ugly orange sticker is light enough not to push me (or the plane) over the edge.

So now I am feeling a little embarrassed for getting angry before and hope to slink through security, but of course the same guy still standing there. I tell him what happened, show him my ugly orange stickers - he admires the double ugly orange sticker job, I apologize for getting angry earlier, and he lets me through. Patience back under control!

I get to the gate and my adventure is over. Or is it? Just before we board I hear an announcement I have never heard before. "Ladies and Gentlemen due to the fact that the water tanks on our aircraft are frozen, there will be no bathroom available on our flight. If you'd like to use the bathroom before we leave, please do so now." I am not making this up. This is a four-and-a-half-hour, completely full flight, with kids and elderly people, and they are just expecting us to hold it? I can't believe it, but just in case I make a dash to the bathroom.

Finally, we board and take off, and I sit in my seat and contemplate on why I agreed to do this again, and remember that I still have to fly back home. Luckily about 1/2 way through the flight the bathrooms started working. I'm not sure I want to know how they unfroze the tanks at 35,000 feet, but I was grateful. That second glass of water went right through me.

Next time I'll fly Singapore Airlines to Mexico. With a layover in Guadalajara...